I just recently turned 25, lets just say it has been a really weird year for me. I’ve done of a lot of looking back and rehearsing over and over again every moment, good and bad. It’s funny while growing up I can remember thinking, “I can’t wait to be older,” now that I am older I can’t help but to wish I was younger. Interesting how life works out, the more these thoughts began to over take my daily thought process, I realized I’m living in the past and not preparing for the future. I believe we so often look to the past even if it was bad because it is comfortable, its something we know. To look to the future can be overwhelming and can be a bit intimidating. I need to find a place where I am planted firmly and have full confidence in knowing that my future is brighter than my past. As a christian women the answer is simple for me, my hope is found in Jesus. I’ve heard it said a millions times in church that God has a plan for me, a purpose beyond my past but why is it when it comes to that moment of believing it, is it so hard? Sometimes I feel like all I do is sit back and watch everyone else be elevated in their calling, while I’m here just waiting for my “burning bush moment” with God. Have you ever felt like you really knew what God called you to but then after months or even years of waiting, you began to think maybe you were wrong? That brings me back to the same debate I have with human nature, needing the right now fix. If this doesn’t come together right now, then it must not be for me. Our calling was never meant to be easy nor was it said to happen right now. There is much work that must go into preparation toward anything you build in life, including your calling. Often when we talk about our dreams with others they sound so glamorous and so easy, in reality we only see the finished project but are missing all the work in between. The visions we often see are us planting churches all over the nations, rising up worship teams, preaching the gospel all over the world and feeding the hungry but we don’t stop to think about the process of getting there. It’s when we are in the valley in pursuit toward our calling, that we come to terms with its not that easy. If we aren’t careful in that place doubt can begin to creep in, which is the main reason why I am writing this blog. I allowed doubt to come in while walking in the valley, I stopped believing that my calling, was actually my calling. Got me to thinking that maybe my calling was not so God-inspired, I mean it shouldn’t  be this hard right? Wrong, Many of the christian pillars throughout the old testament all the way to the new testament, prove that Gods calling isn’t this easy or a glamorous ride but it is worth it! Take Noah for example, he had to not only build this massive ark but he had to get two of every kind of animal and save all that was left of humanity. Could you imagine having that call, how impossible it would seem to get two of every kind of animal. Once the ark was built, yes that moment felt victorious but it was the preparation that made that moment great. I believe there is a way to stop living in the past and to stop doubting our call when things get rough, first we must know “we’re not alone.” God constantly reminded Joshua that he was with him, he would never leave nor forsake him. This mans calling was to bring God’s people into the promise land, even though it wasn’t an easy task God reminded him, I am always with you! We have the holy spirit within us living and moving about. How much more is God with us, he literally lives inside us! No matter where you are in you are calling beginning, middle or end, God will never leave you. People may not always agree with your call but we are not called to please man, only God. The road may seem lonely at times but in reality we are never alone, God reminds throughout scripture that he is always with us. Second, Hard doesn’t mean lacking. When we are on the journey at times resources or plans may not be in abundance, this doesn’t mean that god has abandon us. God is known as our provider, sometimes not in the way we think he should be but he always provides. We have to remember that God knows every moment of our lives, and he delights in our steps. One version of the scripture says he giggles in our steps because he knows that he will provide all things, even when it looks like its impossible. Lastly, remember where we come from, Jesus died on the cross fulfilling the ultiment calling, that every man and women shall have free access to salvation through him. A lot of times we are focused more on our calling, our doing, what we can build up or what we can make great, rather than the truth that christ is the only way. Our soul focal point should always be on him, when we get off track is when we begin to focus on ourselves. Paul understood God’s love and that the calling wasn’t easy but it was worth it. He was whipped, thrown in jail and shipwrecked yet he still continued on. He knew that God would never leave him, always provide and that christ was his center point. This year I am no longer going to live in my past but start to prepare for the future, not in doubting God and his plans for me but to embrace them even when they’re hard. I will stand on the truth that God will never leave me, always provide and keep focus on him and him alone. I encourage you to rise up in this same faith, to keep moving forward in the plans that God has. We can’t make any progress living in the past nor can we move forward in doubt.  Remember be who God has called you to be, it will not be easy and it most likely won’t happen right now but it will always be worth the wait. 

TherealRa3